Bette Davis and Joan Crawford - the divine feud

I was intending to watch Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? yesterday afternoon but I got distracted by the extra DVD disc. You know the ones, the extras and documentaries that they shove onto DVDs but no one ever gets around to watching. Anyway, I've seen Baby Jane several times so I decided to watched the documentaries about Bette Davis and Joan Crawford careers, plus an extra one about their rivalry and feud.

Each documentary was a hoot. The one about Bette Davis was an old TCM one hosted by Jodie Foster, over-emoting her way through the autocue script. There was lots of great footage of Davis' early films, as well as clips from Davis in later life, smoking her way through endless chat shows and even some footage of her after the stroke she suffered when she ended up kinda looking like one of the talking trees in The Wizard of Oz. You know what I mean. Maybe, a little bit.


The one about Joan Crawford was narrated by a rather snooty English guy, but that also has some great footage. It's amazing just how beautiful Joan Crawford was when she was young. She really was stunning. It's amusing to contrast her younger years with how she looked later in life. Crawford's eyes, eyebrows, lips and shoulder pads all increased with age until she became a sort of parody of herself. I think she also got a bit masculine with age. My favourite story about Joan Crawford was how she attempted to seduce Rock Hudson. She apparently left herself into his dressing room at the film studio and, hearing that Rock was in the shower, she decided to join him and snuck up behind him, covered his eyes and whispered: "Just keep your eyes closed darling and we'll both pretend that I'm Clark Gable!"


The funniest documentary was the one about their rivalry and feud. This gets a hammering when you read about it on Amazon and such, as people complain that it's all over the place and badly edited. I guess what they didn't get is the intended style of the piece. You remember that TV show Dream On? You know, that American comedy with that guy where old clips of TV shows would be cut in with an appropriate line? Anyway, it's sorta like that. There's a whole bunch of gay guys regaling themselves with stories about Davis' and Crawford's endless bitchery and hard climb to the top. You know how much we gays love a strong woman who suffers. We're suckers that for all that shit.

Anyway, here are some quotes from the ladies:

Bette Davis "Gay Liberation? I ain't against it, it's just that there's nothing in it for me."

"Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it's because I'm not a bitch. Maybe that's why Miss Crawford always plays ladies."

"The best time I ever had with Joan Crawford was when I pushed her down the stairs in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?"

Joan Crawford:

"I love playing bitches. There's a lot of bitch in every woman - a lot in every man."

"Women's Lib? Poor little things. They always look so unhappy. Have you noticed how bitter their faces are?"

"I never go out unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star. If you want to see the girl next door, go next door."