American Idol - the top eight guys!

We're down to the final eight guys and this week's theme was the eighties. Luke Menard was first up and he sang Wham's "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go". Well, I say 'sang' but I should say that he murdered it, draining all the life and fun out of the song with his limp rendition. He's so going to get shitcanned this week. Luke puzzles me as he sings and performs in a campy manner, but he's just too dull to be gay. Anyway, he won't be sticking around to bother us much longer.


Unlike David "You can only vote him, you can't actually adopt him" Archuleta who sang Phil Collins' "Another Day in Paradise". It's hardly worth even trying to give an opinion about little David as he's so obviously going to win. He's cute, charming with an aw-shucksy personality that the voters will eat up and he sings on pitch each time. Unless he really screws things up, he's got the competition sewn up.


Oh, oh, it was Danny Noriega next! Danny came out and fanned the flames of faggotry by singing a bizarre version of Soft Cell's "Tainted Love". The arrangement was all a bit hoochie mama, like he was doing a burlesque act and, as if he doesn't get enough attention as it is, Danny put in some purple streaks in his hair to match his top. Such a little queen! Randy just didn't know what to make of it all, Paula said she admired him for being himself (i.e. being obviously gay) but Simon bitched that is everything about him tonight was horrible. Our Danny just rolled his eyes at that and snapped: "Whatever!" hand gesture included.

Ex gay bar stripper David Hernandez sang "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" and he did his Eartha Kitt routine as usual. What's with all the eye rolling and the come-hither looks at the camera? He should just come out and sing "Just An Old Fashioned Girl" and be done with it.


Australian jock Michael Johns sang Simple Minds' "Don't You (Forget About Me)" and although he was far from brilliant, his confidence and likeability should see him through to the last twelve next week. The rocker with the bad hair David Cook sang a rawk version of Lionel Richie's "Hello" and, although I'm going to hate myself for saying this, it was actually very good. Sure, he looked as dopey and boring as ever, but if you closed your eyes it became quite good.


Jason Castro was the highlight of the evening for me with his beautiful interpretation of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah". There's a calmness about Jason that's very pleasing to watch and his vocals were simple and spot on. I still want to chop off that damn hair though. Last up was Chikezie Eze who sang Whitney Houston's "All the Man That I Need" with the obligatory change to the lyrics. Now, Chikezie clearly tried his best but this song was way too big for him. What is it I always say? Don't sing a Celine/Mariah/Whitney song unless you want to get your ass kicked! Will these kids never learn?

So, who's gonna go? Well, Luke obviously, then either Chikezie or, and this pains me, Danny Noriega. I like Danny a lot but even I'm not going to defend his hoochie mama performance tonight!