Heather Mills manages to fleece £24.3m from Paul McCartney in divorce settlement

I've just been watching the evening news on the BBC and the second headline story was about bloody Heather "Mucca" Mills and her divorce settlement. She got £24.3m which is a nice little earner for anyone after just four years of marriage, no matter how wealthy her partner is. I don't begrudge her getting some money, after all, Paul McCartney is well minted and can easily afford this divorce settlement, but what did incense me and made me spit out some of my dinner was Mucca's remarks to the gathered press outside the court:

"Beatrice only gets £35,000 a year - so obviously she's meant to travel B class while her father travels A class, but obviously I will pay for that."

Let me just repeat that: "Beatrice only gets £35,000 a year." ONLY? Fuck that, a lot of people would be very happy if they only had £35,000 to live on a year. Hell, I don't even earn that much. I've never been keen on these money grubbers who try to financially bleed their partners and that remark pretty much shows her priorities and just how out of touch she is. Only indeed!

Apparently, Mucca had been grasping for £125m and been offered £15.8m by Paul. Ok, so we all know that Paul's become a right tight bastard with his money so his offer isn't surprising, but Mucca was looking for £125 million after just four years of marriage?

Ann Coulter - dumbass stupid Bitch Features on Hillary and Obama

Conservative dumbass Ann Coulter is still going on about how she's supporting Hillary Clinton for the Democratic nomination even though Coulter is a dried up old husk of a Republican. Anyway, old Bitch Features has written a piece about Hillary and Barack on her website and states that: "Now that Hillary has won three primaries in a row, it's time for Obama to do the classy thing and withdraw from the race. (Obama won Vermont, but that was earlier in the day. Exit polls indicate he took the black vote. Literally. There was just the one.)"

Written with her usual simple mindedness and disregard to common sense, Coulter thinks she's so goddamn irreverent and amusing, except she's not. She's just unpleasant, rude and downright nuts. Now we all know that she's actually supporting a Democrat, she's just fucking with our heads and trying to get some attention. In the end, the piece just seems to focus on urging Hillary to divorce Bill Clinton:

"This charade of a marriage has gone on long enough. Even if you were stupid enough to marry him back in the '70s, Bill is just so over, girlfriend. He can't even get Holiday Inn cocktail waitresses anymore. Last I heard, he was hitting on the Motel 6 housekeeping staff."

What, does Coulter think she's on Ricki Lake now? Damn foo'! Oh, but one good thing came out of this, I finally managed to track down a half decent photograph of Bitch Features. Sure, you can hardly see her face but that's why it's good!

Bitch Features Ann Coulter gets hacked!

Bitch Features conservative Ann Coulter was hacked the other day. Unfortunately, not with a machete, it was only her super freaky website. It's been changed back to her 'normal' loony bile, but here's a screen shot that someone helpfully saved. In the hack, old Faceache Coulter was represented as saying:

"Dear Readers,

I've been participating in a charade for nearly eleven years, now. Quite frankly, I'm sick of it. You have all been a part of a sick joke that I began considering shortly after first getting on the air. At first, it was quite interesting to see how people would react when I would use twisted logic and poorly masked bigotry.

But eleven years is a long time to be living a fake life, and I can no longer tolerate this falsity. Even someone as fake as I tires out eventually.

Here's the truth, I don't care what people believe. Jews don't need to be "made perfect" as I so arrogantly proclaimed to Editor & Publisher not a half week ago. I don't even care if people are Muslim. Granted, I don't know much about the religion or the people, but they are people. This is something that we cannot forget, they are in an abhorrent situation. These people are in need of education. Perhaps if we did not participate in causing them misery, they would not hate us so.

In fact, does it really matter whether we are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Atheist, or even Pagan? We are one nation. One. We should not let petty differences separate us, we are all American, and should act in that manner.

And with that, my precious viewers, I bid you adieu. My career as a media figurehead is over."

You see, the thing with Ann Coulter is that she's such a cranky old loon, that you can't tell the difference between a joke about her or the real thing. She's like Dr Laura in that way. Unfortunately, the real thing isn't as funny or imaginative as the person who posted this statement on her website. Bitch Features has neither the wit nor the intelligence to pull off a prank like this, let alone write a coherent statement.