Why you don't mess with Johnny Depp

Why do I get such dirty thoughts whenever I see Johnny Depp giving some low-life paparazzi the finger? The very idea of Johnny growling "Sit and swivel!" sets my thighs on fire.

Hollywood's Best-Paid Actors

Forbes simply loves doing lists and their latest is of Hollywood's Best-Paid Actors. The list is surprising in places and also highlights Hollywood's ongoing sexist approach to paying for talent:

Tinseltown's leading ladies may generate more tabloid ink, but when it comes to blockbuster paychecks, Hollywood is still a man's town.

In an era where risk-averse studio executives have declared men the more reliable movie stars--and the more desirable moviegoers--perhaps it's no surprise that they are also the medium's top earners. The reality: Hollywood's 10 best-paid actors out-earned Hollywood's 10 best-paid actresses 2-to-1 over the course of the year.

Collectively, the big screen's leading men took home an estimated $487 million between June 1, 2007, and June 1, 2008, compared with the leading ladies' haul of $244.5 million.

Here's the list with last year's position in brackets:

The men

1 Will Smith - £40m (6)
2 Johnny Depp - £36m (3)
3 Eddie Murphy - £27.5m (-)
4 Mike Myers - £27.5m (-)
5 Leonardo DiCaprio - £22.5m (5)
6 Bruce Willis - £20.5m (-)
7 Ben Stiller - £20m (-)
8 Nicolas Cage - £19.5m (-)
9 Will Ferrell - £15.5m (-)
10 Adam Sandler - £15m (4)

The women

1 Cameron Diaz - £25m (8)
2 Keira Knightley - £16m (-)
3 Jennifer Aniston - £13.5m (5)
4 Reese Witherspoon - £12.5m ( 1)
5 Gwyneth Paltrow - £12.5m (-)
6 Jodie Foster - £11.5m (1)
7 Sarah Jessica Parker - £9m (-)
8 Meryl Streep - £8m (-)
9 Amy Adams - £7.25m (-)
10 Angelina Jolie - £7m (8)

The teens

1 Daniel Radcliffe - £12.5m (-)
1 Miley Cyrus - £12.5m (-)
3 Ashley Olsen - £10m (1)
4 Lindsay Lohan - £3m (3)
5 Dakota Fanning - £2m (4)
6 Amanda Bynes - £1.75m (5)
7 Hayden Panettiere - £1m(6)
8 Vanessa Hudgens - £1m (7)
9 Abigail Breslin - £0.75m (8)
10 Tyler James Williams - (0.5m) (-)
10 Jojo Levesque - £0.5m (10)

Brad Pitt tops list of Hot Celebrity Dads

Since it's coming up to Father's Day, AOL's Stylelist has helpfully compiled their considered list of Hot Celebrity Dads:

1. Brad Pitt
2. David Beckham
3. Johnny Depp
4. Will Smith
5. Matt Damon
6. Ryan Phillippe
7. Ben Affleck
8. Joel Madden
9. Seal
10. Patrick Dempsey
11. Barack Obama
12. Gavin Rossdale
13. Tom Cruise
14. Tobey Maguire
15. Mark Consuelos

Whereas I agree with most of the top six, WTF is little Tommy Cruise doing on this list? If they were nominating scariest nutjob freaky Dad then he'd be a shoo-in, but since was little Tommy considered Hot? He hasn't been anywhere approaching hot for at least twenty five years. Hmm, seeing Will Smith also in that list makes me think that maybe those crazy Scientologists have infiltrated the Stylelist..

Brad Pitt however is in a different league, he's definitely still HAWT. I'd happily bounce up and down on his knees and call him Daddy, yessiree!

Oprah Winfrey leads Forbes' Celebrity 100

The deity that is Oprah Winfrey leads Forbes' Celebrity 100 for the second year in a row and for the fifth time in her career.

"The Celebrity 100 is Forbes' list of the world's most powerful--and best-paid--celebrities. To generate the list, Forbes estimates celebrity earnings, then factors in media metrics like Google hits, press mentions as compiled by Factiva, TV/radio mentions from Lexis/Nexis and the number of times an A-lister appears on the cover of more than 50 consumer magazines."

Here's the list in full (deep breath!):

1 Oprah Winfrey
2 Tiger Woods
3 Angelina Jolie
4 Beyonce Knowles
5 David Beckham
6 Johnny Depp
7 Jay-Z
8 The Police
9 J.K. Rowling
10 Brad Pitt
11 Will Smith
12 Justin Timberlake
13 Steven Spielberg
14 Cameron Diaz
15 David Letterman
16 LeBron James
17 Jennifer Aniston
18 Michael Jordan
19 Kobe Bryant
20 Phil Mickelson
21 Madonna
22 Simon Cowell
23 Roger Federer
24 Alex Rodriguez
25 Jerry Seinfeld
26 50 Cent
27 Kanye West
28 Celine Dion
29 Bruce Willis
30 Dr. Phil McGraw
31 Tom Cruise
32 Jay Leno
33 Sean "Diddy" Combs
34 Stephen King
35 Miley Cyrus
36 Kimi Raikkonen
37 Jeff Gordon
38 Ronaldinho
39 Shaquille O'Neal
40 Judge Judy Sheindlin
41 Howard Stern
42 Tyler Perry
43 Fernando Alonso
44 Leonardo DiCaprio
45 Donald Trump
46 George Lucas
47 Keira Knightley
48 Jerry Bruckheimer
49 Nicolas Cage
50 Spice Girls
51 Matt Damon
52 Dale Earnhardt Jr.
53 Bon Jovi
54 Jennifer Lopez
55 Ben Stiller
56 Kevin Garnett
57 Nicole Kidman
58 James Patterson
59 Rush Limbaugh
60 Reese Witherspoon
61 Maria Sharapova
62 Ryan Seacrest
63 Gwen Stefani
64 Daniel Radcliffe
65 Alicia Keys
66 Gisele Bundchen
67 Gwyneth Paltrow
68 Tyra Banks
69 Serena Williams
70 Eva Longoria Parker
71 Ellen DeGeneres
72 Sarah Jessica Parker
73 Katherine Heigl
74 Regis Philbin
75 Tom Clancy
76 Rachael Ray
77 Cate Blanchett
78 Heidi Klum
79 Carrie Underwood
80 Jon Stewart
81 Justine Henin
82 Judd Apatow
83 Kate Moss
84 Patrick Dempsey
85 Charlie Sheen
86 Drew Carey
87 Steve Carell
88 Lorena Ochoa
89 Jonas Brothers
90 Howie Mandel
91 Wolfgang Puck
92 Zac Efron
93 Annika Sorenstam
94 Ashley Tisdale
95 Gordon Ramsay
96 Jennifer Love Hewitt
97 Lauren Conrad
98 Vanessa Williams
99 Tina Fey
100 Paula Deen

Wait a minute.. Charlie Sheen? Jennifer Love Hewitt? "Dr" fucking Phil? If I were Spencer Pratt I'd be demanding a recount!

Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd, he served a dark and avengeful God!

I went to the cinema last night and finally saw Sweeney Todd. I'd been 'working' on my friend all week as he really didn't want to see it, but I stuck to my guns and generally pouted and nagged him until he agreed to go with me. I wasn't pretty about it, but it got me the result I wanted.

Now, I have to admit that I've been a fan of Sweeney Todd for many years. I remember seeing it for the first time one evening in summer on the telly (I clearly remember that it was shown after the film of Long Days Journey into Night which I loved - I must've been a rather gloomy youngster!). It was the filmed version of the stage production that toured with Angela Lansbury and George Hearn. I absolutely adored it and went out and bought the soundtrack which I've listened to many, many times.

The things is though, when you've got a favourite book or play, often the film version can disappoint you, what with the all the changes made and the casting so I've had my doubts about seeing Tim Burton's version. I like Burton's films (apart from Planet of the Apes of course, that one was just a big smelly pile of poo!) and I like Johnny Depp but I can't stand that bloody awful Helena Bonham Carter and neither of them are singers. Anyway, I wanted to see it nevertheless as it isn't often that you can see a musical at the cinema, and a Sondheim to boot!

It turns out that I really liked it. Hell, I even liked Helena bloody Bonham Carter. Her character of Mrs Lovett is usually played as this overbearing larger than life figure, but Carter plays her in a much more delicate, sad manner and it works very well. She's plays her as a more passive-aggressive character, you know the sort, kinda like Mia Farrow. She can't sing, of course, but she tries her best and the orchestra swells loudly every time she struggles with high notes. Depp is fabulous, as usual. In fact, the entire cast does well, even the hammy Alan Rickman who is mercifully reined in for once.

As I know all the songs (I know, I know, such a Sondheim queen..) I really wanted to bust out and sing along with the film and bring out my inner Mrs Lovett, but I thought that the other people in the cinema might not be so appreciative. Oh, but wouldn't that be a good idea? Sing-A-Long-A-Sweeney viewings! We could all sit there swinging our razors and chomping away on pies. Oh, that would be dreamy.

Ooh, look at this Sweeny Todd doll. So cute!

Golden Globe winners 2008 - Sweeney Todd, Atonement and Julie Christie

Golden Globe winners 2008

BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
"American Gangster"
"Atonement" WINNER!
"Eastern Promises"
"The Great Debaters"
"Michael Clayton"
"No Country for Old Men"
"There Will Be Blood"

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
Cate Blanchett, "Elizabeth: The Golden Age"
Julie Christie, "Away From Her" WINNER!
Jodie Foster, "The Brave One"
Angelina Jolie, "A Mighty Heart"
Keira Knightley, "Atonement"

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
George Clooney, "Michael Clayton"
Daniel Day-Lewis, "There Will Be Blood" WINNER!
James McAvoy, "Atonement"
Viggo Mortensen, "Eastern Promises"
Denzel Washington, "American Gangster"

BEST MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
"Across the Universe"
"Charlie Wilson's War"
"Hairspray"
"Juno"
"Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" WINNER!

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE - COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Amy Adams, "Enchanted"
Nikki Blonsky, "Hairspray"
Helena Bonham Carter, "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
Marion Cotillard, "La Vie en Rose" WINNER!
Ellen Page, "Juno"

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Johnny Depp, "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" WINNER!
Ryan Gosling, "Lars and the Real Girl"
Tom Hanks, "Charlie Wilson's War"
Philip Seymour Hoffman, "The Savages"
John C. Reilly, "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story"

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
"Bee Movie"
"Ratatouille" WINNER!
"The Simpsons Movie"

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
"4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days" (Romania)
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (France/USA) WINNER!
"The Kite Runner" (USA)
"Lust, Caution" (Taiwan)
"Persepolis" (France)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
Cate Blanchett, "I'm Not There" WINNER!
Saoirse Ronan, "Atonement"
Julia Roberts, "Charlie Wilson's War"
Amy Ryan, "Gone Baby Gone"
Tilda Swinton, "Michael Clayton"

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
Casey Affleck, "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"
Javier Bardem, "No Country for Old Men" WINNER!
Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Charlie Wilson's War"
John Travolta, "Hairspray"
Tom Wilkinson, "Michael Clayton"

BEST DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE
Tim Burton, "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
Ethan Coen & Joel Coen, "No Country for Old Men"
Julian Schnabel, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" WINNER!
Ridley Scott, "American Gangster"
Joe Wright, "Atonement"

BEST SCREENPLAY – MOTION PICTURE
Diablo Cody, "Juno"
Ethan Coen & Joel Coen, "No Country for Old Men" WINNER!
Christopher Hampton, "Atonement"
Ronald Harwood, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly"
Aaron Sorkin, "Charlie Wilson's War"

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE – MOTION PICTURE
Michael Brook, Kaki King, Eddie Vedder, "Into the Wild"
Clint Eastwood, "Grace is Gone"
Alberto Iglesias, "The Kite Runner"
Dario Marianelli, "Atonement" WINNER!
Howard Shore, "Eastern Promises"

BEST ORIGINAL SONG – MOTION PICTURE
"Despedida" from "Love in the Time of Cholera" (Music by: Shakira, Antonio Pinto; Lyrics by: Shakira)
"Grace is Gone" from "Grace is Gone" (Music by: Clint Eastwood; Lyrics by: Carole Bayer Sager)
"Guaranteed" from "Into the Wild" (Music & Lyrics by: Eddie Vedder) WINNER!
"That's How You Know" from "Enchanted" (Music & Lyrics by: Alan Menken)
"Walk Hard" from "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" (Music & Lyrics by: Marshall Crenshaw, John C. Reilly, Judd Apatow, Jake Kasdan)

BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
"Big Love" (HBO)
"Damages" (FX)
"Grey's Anatomy" (ABC)
"House" (Fox)
"Mad Men" (AMC) WINNER!
"The Tudors" (Showtime)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
Patricia Arquette, "Medium"
Glenn Close, "Damages" WINNER!
Minnie Driver, "The Riches"
Edie Falco, "The Sopranos"
Sally Field, "Brothers & Sisters"
Holly Hunter, "Saving Grace"
Kyra Sedgwick, "The Closer"

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
Michael C. Hall, "Dexter"
Jon Hamm, "Mad Men" WINNER!
Hugh Laurie, "House"
Jonathan Rhys Meyers, "The Tudors"
Bill Paxton, "Big Love"

BEST TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY
"30 Rock" (NBC)
"Californication" (Showtime)
"Entourage" (HBO)
"Extras" (HBO) WINNER!
"Pushing Daisies" (ABC)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES –COMEDY
Christina Applegate, "Samantha Who?"
America Ferrera, "Ugly Betty"
Tina Fey, "30 Rock" WINNER!
Anna Friel "Pushing Daisies"
Mary-Louise Parker, "Weeds"

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY
Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock"
Steve Carell, "The Office"
David Duchovny, "Californication" WINNER!
Ricky Gervais, "Extras"
Lee Pace, "Pushing Daisies"

BEST MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
"Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee" (HBO)
"The Company" (TNT)
"Five Days" (HBO)
"Longford" (HBO) WINNER!
"The State Within" (BBC America)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Bryce Dallas Howard, "As You Like It"
Debra Messing, "The Starter Wife"
Queen Latifah, "Life Support" WINNER!
Sissy Spacek, "Pictures of Hollis Woods"
Ruth Wilson, "Jane Eyre (Masterpiece Theatre)"

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Adam Beach, "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee"
Ernest Borgnine, "A Grandpa For Christmas"
Jim Broadbent, "Longford" WINNER!
Jason Isaacs, "The State Within"
James Nesbitt, "Jekyll"

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Rose Byrne, "Damages"
Rachel Griffiths, "Brothers & Sisters"
Katherine Heigl, "Grey's Anatomy"
Samantha Morton, "Longford" WINNER!
Anna Paquin, "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee"
Jaime Pressly, "My Name is Earl"

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Ted Danon, "Damages"
Kevin Dillon, "Entourage"
Jeremy Piven, "Entourage" WINNER!
Andy Serkis, "Longford"
William Shatner, "Boston Legal"
Donald Sutherland, "Dirty Sexy Money"

Johnny Deep in new trailer for Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd

The first proper trailer for Tim Burton's film of Stephen Sondheim's musical Sweeney Todd is finally available. Oh, I've been waiting years to see this. I remember thinking ages ago that it was a shame that Sondheim's terrific musical hadn't been filmed and that Tim Burton would be perfect to direct a film version.

The film stars Johnny Depp as Sweeney Todd, Helena Bonham Carter as Mrs. Lovett, Sacha Baron Cohen as Signor Adolfo Pirelli, Alan Rickman as Judge Turpin, Laura Michelle Kelly as the Beggar Woman, Timothy Spall as Beadle Bamford and Ed Sanders as Tobias Ragg. It's fun to see the trailer as it gives a glimpse of what Burton has come up with. It's certainly got Burton's typical 'look' which can only be a good thing. I'm not sure about some of the cast though..

Even in the brief trailer, Helena Bonham Carter comes across as lifeless and dull as ever. I think she's in competition with Madonna for being the worst actress ever. Doesn't this woman have any spark? She damn near ruins every film she's in. Oh, I know she's old now, but I would've loved to have the fabulous Angela Lansbury back in this role. Now, there's an actress who knows a thing or two about personality.

Also, I'm not too keen on Alan Rickman. Dunno why, I just loathe him. Again, he ruins everything he's in and it's a complete mystery to me why everyone goes on about what a great actor he is. He's just an old HAM, salted and cured!

Anyway, enough of my bitching and moaning. I can't wait for this film to come out! The trailer only has a few second of singing in it so it didn't look like a musical at all and one of the things that I hate about film adaptions of musicals is when they cut out all the songs. So stupid. However, we ought to be safe with Sweeney Todd as the actors have given interviews complaining about the amount of singing they had to do.

Oh, I really hope this isn't awful. I adore the Sondheim musical and I don't want this to be another Planet of the Apes..