David Beckham has the best abs

In Touch Weekly (yes, I know!) has thoughtfully compiled a list of the hottest abs for their top ten list this week. Here's the fittage in reverse order:

10. Matthew McConaughey
9. Zac Efron
8. Brody Jenner
7. Gavin Rossdale
6. Ryan Sutter
5. Shemar Moore
4. Hugh Jackman
3. Mario Lopez
2. Robert Buckley
1. David Beckham

First of all, where's Taylor Kitsch? Secondly, what's a douchebag like Brody Jenner doing on this list? Thirdly, Gavin Rossdale? WTF!

Super Mario Lopez - People's Hottest Batchelor of 2008 bares all!

We've already seen Super Mario Lopez as Marky Mark (and the Funky Bunch!) earlier in the week, but here's the rest of his Hottest Batchelor of 2008 spread for People magazine. Mario strips to re-enact scenes from films as Brad Pitt, li'l Tommy Cruise, Richard Gere and Christoper Atkins. He even recreates that famous nude centrefold from Cosmo by Burt Reynolds, shame Mario's gooch has been airbrushed out of existence. I swear that his junk must be way too big to be successfully covered up just by his wrist. There's nary a bollock or pube or nothin'.

Anyway, I was wondering about one little thing: sure, Mario's hot, super hot even, but hottest bachelor? Didn't Mario just break up with his girlfriend Karina Smirnoff, like, just a couple of weeks ago? It says so in US magazine and they don't mess around with that shit. Hmm, this couldn't be yet another convenient tabloid-friendly "break" in their relationship, could it?

Say it ain't so!

People magazine's Single & Sexy Men of '08

People magazine's Single & Sexy Men of '08

1. Mario Lopez - "I was a fat, fat baby. I looked like a sumo wrestler. My mom had to pull the fat folds apart when she bathed me!" I think Mario's definitely gotten past the fat stage.

2. Brody Jenner & Frankie Delgado - no idea. Off The Hills? The girls at work watch this but I haven't been tempted. I'm still watching re-runs of America's Next Top Model and I have to prioritise the amount of crap I watch on telly.

3. David Cook - your American Idol. Don't look at me, I didn't vote for him!

4. Terrence Howard - ah, I've been reading about him this week, something to do with baby wipes? I found this on Jezebel, commenting on Howard's relationship dealbreaker: "Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean." The thing is, I always thought he was gay.

5. Bryan Spears - where's he been hiding away? The elder brother of Britney and Jamie Lynn.


6. Gerard Butler - oh, sweet Lord Jesus, I so would. Woof!

7. James Blake - American tennis player. I like James, but I did prefer him with the super crazy 'fro: "In college I had braids, dreadlocks, cornrows – even the Kid 'N Play high-top. Back then it seemed girls all had that 'bad boy' in mind they wanted to date. Maybe that is why I was doing the crazy hair. Now I've grown up and tend to date girls who have figured out what they like in a guy. Hopefully they are more interested in a clean-cut guy who will treat them right."

8. Bret Michaels - you have got to be shitting me. Single yes, but sexy? Maybe if I lived in a trailer park and I ran out of cousins..

9. Andy Samberg & Akiva Schaffer - no idea who these two are. Apparently, they're on Saturday Night Live, a show that doesn't travel well.

10. Hunter Johansson - Scarlett's twin brother.

11. Adam Levine - from Maroon 5.

12. Penn Badgley, Ed Westwick and Chace Crawford - the Gossip Girl guys, of course!

AfterElton's Hot 100 - Jake comes out on top!

AfterElton has tallied the scores and published this year's Hot 'Mo Hundred. It makes for interesting reading. For starters, I haven't heard of a whole bunch of 'em. It seems that our shower nozzle masturbatory material comes from a variety of sources!

"The list also shows that we like men who are not afraid to be associated with gay people and stories — of the 83 actors on the list, a whopping 49 (59%) have played gay. Fifteen of the men are openly gay or bisexual and they're noted with an asterisk (*) next to their name. (As readers will no doubt note, the list also includes men who are thought by many to be gay, but who are not publicly out.)

And although we may have tried to encourage unbridled shallowness in the nomination process, the list is full of men who are notable for more than their obvious physical assets. These men are entrepreneurs, activists, trend-setters, humanitarians and beyond, and most are just as pretty on the inside as they are on the outside."

Here's the full list:

1. Jake Gyllenhaal (was there ever any doubt..?)
2. Chris Evans
3. Daniel Craig
4. Gale Harold
5. Taye Diggs
6. Ryan Reynolds
7. Hugh Jackman
8. T R Knight
9. Ryan Phillipe
10. John Barrowman
11. Christian Bale
12. Brad Pitt
13. Christopher Meloni
14. Robert Gant
15. Patrick Wilson
16. Mario Lopez
17. Gael Garcia Bernal
18. Ian Somerhalder
19. Justin Timberlake
20. Heath Ledger
21. Paul Rudd
22. Jonathan Rhys Meyers
23. Channing Tatum
24. Ryan Gosling
25. Jamie Bamber
26. Wentworth Miller (Wentworth!!)
27. Tom Welling
28. Shemar Moore
29. Eddie Cibrian
30. David Boreanaz
31. Chad Allen
32. Anderson Cooper
33. Josh Duhamel
34. Randy Harrison
35. Jensen Ackles
36. Cheyenne Jackson
37. Jared Padalecki
38. Matthew McConaughey
39. David Beckham
40. Jason Statham
41. Milo Ventimiglia
42. Eric Mabius
43. Jensen Atwood
44. Eric Bana
45. Paul Walker
46. Matthew Fox
47. Josh Holloway
48. Tyson Beckford
49. Zachary Quinto
50. Orlando Bloom
51. Joseph Gordon-Levitt
52. Neil Patrick Harris
53. Ben McKenzie
54. Gerard Butler
55. Clive Owen
56. Eric Dane
57. Jeremy Piven (what the..?)
58. Andy Roddick
59. Jason Behr
60. J.P. Calderon
61. Johnny Depp
62. Keanu Reeves
63. Matthew Rhys
64. Christopher Gorham
65. LL Cool J (nice call!)
66. Adam Levine
67. Sendhil Ramamurthy
68. Daniel Dae Kim
69. Thomas Roberts
70. Kevin Zegers
71. Cristiano Ronaldo
72. Wilson Cruz
73. Alexandre Despatie
74. Timothy Olyphant
75. Jake Shears
76. Matt Damon
77. Jay Hernandez
78. John Krasinski
79. Ewan McGregor
80. Enrique Iglesias (ooh, yes!)
81. B.D. Wong
82. Adrian Pasdar
83. Peter Sarsgaard
84. John Amaechi
85. Jesse Bradford
86. Peter Paige
87. Jesse L. Martin
88. Brady Quinn
89. Billy Campbell
90. Jeremy Bloom
91. Ben Browder
92. George Clooney
93. Tom Ford
94. Cillian Murphy
95. Sufjan Stevens
96. Darryl Stephens
97. James Purefoy
98. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (oh, as if!)
99. Seth Green
100. Zach Braff

Mario Lopez Spars with Oscar De La Hoya

When he's not out on the town with Eva Longoria and an increasingly mahogany tinted Jessica Simpson, Mario Lopez also likes hanging out with the boys. Last week, Mario had a friendly boxing bout with Oscar De La Hoya.

Mario didn't expect much, saying: "You know you're going to lose, but it's fun anyway."

I fancied Mario like mad, way back in the Saved By The Bell days. He's matured nicely. Well, physically I mean.