2008 - the Year of the Bitch

Radar reckons that's although it's only April, it has already turned into the year of the bitch. After my own super bitchery yesterday, I have to agree. Here's their choice of fierce bitches with my own commentary after each name:

1. Hillary Clinton "The Bitch Supreme" - I want Hillary to become President just to watch her kick some old fat Republican ass. Girlfriend is fierce!


2. Tina Fey "The Funny Bitch" - Oh, so you're thinking that she's nice? How do you think she got that massive scar across her face pretty face?

3. Blair Waldorf "The Preppy Bitch" - Heh, now we're talking. Blair is the most deliciously bitchy bitch on television right now. Love her.

4. Ellen Page "The Little Bitch" - I just don't get all the fuss over little Ellen. Another lesbian with short hair and no make-up.

5. Victoria Beckham "The Skinny Bitch" - Aw, so unfair. I must be the only person in the world who actually likes Posh.


6. Tyra Banks "The Diva Bitch" - The increasingly plus-sized Tyra Abdul says that we can kiss her big fat ass! Erm.. that's so empowering!

7. Heather Mills "The Crazy Bitch" - The craziest bitchiest wonky-faced super crazy mofo bitch in the whole world. I'd put her at number one. Easily. Complete nut-job.

8. Lauren Conrad "The Secret Bitch" - I don't even know who this is. A google search reveals her to be some fakey reality telly person. Yet another one.

9. Cécilia Ciganer-Albéniz (formerly Cécilia Sarkozy) "The French Bitch" - The ex-wife from Hell. And you thought Mucca Mills was bad..?

10. Tracy Ullman "The British Bitch" - Anyone who can send Renee Zellweger to therapy can't be all that bad.

Mr Blackwell's 38th annual Worst Dressed list

Mr Blackwell's snarky 38th annual Worst Dressed list:

1 - Victoria Beckham: "Forget the fashion spice - wearing a skirt would suffice! In one skinny-mini monstrosity after another, pouty posh can really wreck-em."

2 - Amy Winehouse: "Exploding beehives above…tacky polka-dots below... she's part 50's car-hop horror."

3 -Mary Kate Olsen: "YIKES! In layers of cut-rate kitsch, Mary Kate's look is hard to explain... she resembles a tattered toothpick-trapped in a hurricane!"

4 - Fergie: "Another style-free 'Fergie' in fashion's hall of shame? Yes, when it comes to couture chaos, guess it's all in a name!"

5 - Kelly Clarkson: "Her heavenly voice soars above the rest... but those belly-baring bombs are hellish at best! She may be the queen of 'Pro-Active' – but that wardrobe looks downright radioactive!"

6 - Eva Green: "Stuck in neon nightmares not fit for the sane. Fashion this loud could give Bond a migraine! A profusion of confusion from toes to nose!"

7 - Avril Lavigne: "Gothic make-up courtesy the mad spatula-Fashions provided by.. The house of Dracula!"

8 - Jessica Simpson: "Forget the Cowboys. In prom queen screams, can it get any worse? She's a global fashion curse!"

9 - Lindsay Lohan: "Lindsay the fashion frenzy strikes again! Lohan takes fashion to a new low."

10 - Alison Arngrim: "Little Nellie of the prairie, looks like a 1940's fashion editor for the Farmers Almanac."

Heh, he's such a bitch! However, we did notice one name missing. Mr Blackwell must've been reading our thoughts as he added a note at the end of his list: "For those of you who were expecting to see Britney's name adorn the 2007 list, I felt that it was inappropriate at this time to make comment, when her personal life is in such upheaval. I hope 2008 is a better year for her."

Aw, looks like the bitter old queen has a heart after all. Maybe, just a little.

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