Celebrity meltdown of the year - it's Britney, bitch!

Of course it's Britney! She had lots of competition this year: Paris Hilton going to jail; David Hasselhoff filmed drunk crawling around in a hotel room eating a burger; Lindsay Lohan getting high on drugs, sleeping around with anyone and going to rehab three times; Rosie O'Donnell's hilarious ongoing feud with Donald Trump; Alec Baldwin's whiny and self-serving answerphone message to his daughter, no doubt leaked by his bitter ex-wife Kim Basinger; Anna Nicole Smith's sad drug induced death; O J Simpson getting arrested again for stealing and claiming he could've been the father of Anna Nicole Smith's child; Larry Craig getting caught using the secret homosexual foot tapping code in an airport public toilet; Keifer Sutherland getting drunk yet again and going to jail. Yes, it's been a bumper year of celebrity mishaps and law-breaking, but Britney still managed to rise above everyone else with her po' white trash escapades.

Let's see if I can remember what she packed into a fun filled year: Britney shaved her own head at a hairdressing salon after the hairdresser refused to do it for her; Britney then got a nice tattoo straight after; Britney attacked the paparazzi with an umbrella; Britney became friends with Paris Hilton and stopped wearing any knickers thus flashing her cooch to the whole world; Britney lost custody of her children and repeatedly failed drugs tests and failed to appear for hearings about her kids; Britney stole a mannequin's skanky wig and wore it; Britney stole a cigarette lighter; Britney posed topless in a flower garden and the photographs somehow 'leaked'; Britney performed on the MTV awards while drunk, over weight, badly (un)dressed and forgot her dance moves and how to lip synch to her own song; Britney was said to be pregnant, then wasn't, then was again, then wasn't again, all while there was confusion over who exactly the father was (am I the only one who suspected there was a little trip to the 'clinic'? No judgement!); Britney gave her kids nothing but soda to drink, thus ruining their teeth so she had to ask a dentist if he could whiten the kids' rotten baby teeth; Britney went to rehab, left, went back, left again, then went back again but to another one; and so on and so on.

I'm sure there was a lot more, but jeez, I can't remember every last thing. Whatever she did, you can be sure that it was skanky and trashy with the paparazzi tipped off and documenting every last sorry incident. And the best thing is that she just doesn't give up. A bit like herpes, Britney is the po' white trash gift that just keeps giving.

"I just can't control myself
(Mo- Mo- Mo- Mo-) More Uh.
They want more? Well I'll give'em more, Aww!

Gimme gimme more
Gimme more
Gimme gimme more (Gimme more)
Gimme gimme more
Gimme (Uh)
Gimme gimme more (Ooh)
Gimme gimme more
Gimme more
Gimme gimme more
Gimme gimme more (Gimme more, oh yeah)
Gimme (Uh)
Gimme gimme more"